Adventures in Eating

More than four years ago, I attempted to eat a one-pound hamburger in a food challenge at Bub's Burgers and Ice Cream up in the northern Indy 'burb of Carmel and came close to finishing with only a few bites left. The feat in question was to devour the Big Ugly, and to be clear the burger actually more than a single pound . The patty alone is a pound, and the bun by itself is a small loaf of bread. Plus, you also have to eat any toppings you request, which are optional.

For awhile I thought off and on about trying it again, until we moved about an hour away from Bub's. Then last winter, I started watching the cable TV show Man v. Food, which involves the host taking on sometimes ridiculous food challenges, like eating a 72-ounce of steak in an hour for example. Still, the show renewed my interest in the notion of defeating the Big Ugly and perhaps taking on other feats in the Indianapolis metropolitan area.

My mistake during my first attempt at an eating challenge was adding toppings. Ordering lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles on a burger that size is somewhat like having a side salad dumped on top of the patty. My excuse at that time was that I had enjoyed my meal up to the point I decided to stop, so I should swallow my pride and not any more of the burger. I knew if I were to try it again, I'd forgo the optional toppings and just eat the burger.

Since that first try, we not only moved farther away but had two children, so Frema and I have not been back to Bub's, even just to eat normal-sized sandwiches, though we agree they are some of the best burgers in the metro area. I had been thinking about trying again and wondering if I could've indeed eaten the rest of the Big Ugly or not. Finally as part of a late-birthday outing, Frema and I returned to the eatery a few months for me to regain my honor and take down the beefy foe.

We were seated relatively quickly at a table in the middle of the restaurant, where we had a good view of the photos of previous Big Ugly champions have their pictures on the wall. Some of them were holding two empty platters up (one guy even had three!), which I still can't decide or not was encouraging or discouraging in my own quest for Bub's fame and glory. Needless to say, I did eat the burger and was not as full as I thought I'd be, though I admit that had a pretty light dinner of a half bowl of cereal.



That was back in February, but this past weekend I went with a friend who wanted to see if he could get his picture on the wall and also to see if I could find my own picture posted somewhere in the eatery. He ordered the Big Ugly, including cheese and some other toppings, and I stuck to the Not So Ugly half-pounder patty. While we were waiting a gentleman seated behind my amigo devoured his own large burger in what couldn't have been more than five minutes.

My friend had little trouble finishing off the Big Ugly and even had one of my onion rings. I didn't even eat the last few bites of bun and tomato of my own burger. But then there was nothing at stake this time around. It took some searching, but I did find my picture, which was almost falling off the wall. I pushed it back into place with hopefully enough force to keep it stuck there until the end of the year when Bub's takes all the photos down to begin again.

But now I am left thinking about my next competitor. Sadly, there's only two other food challenges I could find in the area. I'm not sure I want to take on a large amount of food again, especially one such as The Big 29 at Barlo's Pizza. Eating a 29-inch pizza by yourself in two hours just does not seem possible, however, I am fairly certain that I can eat 16 habanero hot wings without a beverage at Wings Etc. to make it onto their Wall of Flame.

(Though I'm not so worried about getting them down, I admit I'm a little worried about what they might do to me passed that point...)